i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
