Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
she pinky promised me she was 18
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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