bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
