you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Someone signed my nipple.
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