Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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