We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
