I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I would fuck him just for his dog
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