Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
