Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize