I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
