Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
my shit smells like andre
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
