More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
