what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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