Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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