question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Randomize
