so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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