the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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