This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Never joke about your clitoris.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
