dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
