You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
