So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
