Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
