No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize
