I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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