But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
