the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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