I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
