I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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