Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry sexytexan2004 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(202): View more from Washington, DC

I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha

Fav 5 1016 5074
share tweet
(916): View more from California

I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here

Fav 6 815 2613
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(910): View more from North Carolina

no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.

Fav 16 880 2142
share tweet
(631): View more from New York

there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"

Fav 24 1540 4153
share tweet
(604): View more from British Columbia

I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.

Fav 27 12038 1262
share tweet
(402): View more from Nebraska

Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

At least he's a nutritious stoner...

Fav 18 8737 1588
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(248): View more from Michigan

He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of

Fav 10 3905 1228
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(301): View more from Maryland

you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"

Fav 0 20 40
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(714): View more from California

Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?

Fav 0 88 18
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT