Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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