I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
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