He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize