"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Your dad touched me again.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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