woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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