just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
