he wants to bone in the snuggie
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I will pee on everything he values.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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