just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
