But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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