But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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