What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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