Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
