I want to walk on stilts...naked
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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