Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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