Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
