No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize