Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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