i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
