Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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