I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
