he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Quick, to the slutcave!
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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