If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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