Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
