why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
