so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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