You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Randomize
